Victim playing
Victim playing (also known as playing the victim or self-victimization) is the fabrication of victimhood for a variety of reasons such as to justify abuse of others, to manipulate others, a coping strategy or attention seeking. By abusers Victim playing by abusers is either: * diverting attention away from acts of abuse by claiming that the abuse was justified based on another person's bad behavior (typically the victim) * soliciting sympathy from others in order to gain their assistance in supporting or enabling the abuse of a victim (known as proxy abuse). It is common for abusers to engage in victim playing. This serves two purposes: * justification to themselves – as a way of dealing with the cognitive dissonance that results from inconsistencies between the way they treat others and what they believe about themselves. * justification to others – as a way of escaping harsh judgment or condemnation they may fear from others. By manipulators Manipulators often play the victim role ("poor me") by portraying themselves as victims of circumstances or someone else's behavior in order to gain pity or sympathy or to evoke compassion and thereby get something from another. Caring and conscientious people cannot stand to see anyone suffering, and the manipulator often finds it easy and rewarding to play on sympathy to get cooperation. Other types Victim playing is also: * an attention seeking technique (see for example Münchausen syndrome, Münchausen syndrome by proxy and Münchausen by Internet). * a strategy used by alcoholics to elicit constructive criticism, rescue, or enabling behavior from othersEvans, Katie & Sullivan, J. Michael Dual Diagnosis: Counseling the Mentally Ill Substance Abuser (1990) In corporate life The language of "victim playing" has entered modern corporate life, as a weapon of use even for the most competent of professionals.Susan A. DePhillips, Corporate Confidential (2005) p. 65 To define victim-players as dishonest may be an empowering response;Anthony C. Mersino, Emotional Literacy for Project Managers (2007) p. 60 and p. 43 as too may be awareness of how childhood boundary issues can underlay the tactic.Mersino, p. 104 In the hustle of office politics, the term may however be abused so as to penalize the legitimate victim of injustice, as well as the role-player. Underlying psychology Transactional analysis distinguishes real victims from those who adopt the role in bad faith, ignoring their own capacities to improve their situation.Petruska Clarkson, Transactional Analysis in Psychotherapy (London 1997) p. 217 Among the games Eric Berne identified as played by the latter are "Look How Hard I've Tried" and "Wooden Leg".Eric Berne, Games People Play (Penguin 1964) p. 92 and p. 141-2 R. D. Laing considered that “it will be difficult in practice to determine whether or to what extent a relationship is collusive” - when “the one person is predominantly the passive 'victim'”,R. D. Laing, Self and Others (Penguin 1969) p. 108 and when they are merely playing the victim. The problem is intensified once a pattern of victimization has been internalised, perhaps in the form of a double bind.Laing, p. 145 Object relations theory has explored the way possession by a false self can create a permanent sense of victimisationNeville Symington, Narcissism: A New Theory (London 1993) p. 116 - a sense of always being in the hands of an external fate.Michael Parsons, The Dove that Returns, the Dove that Vanishes (London 2000) p. 34 To break the hold of the negative complex, and to escape the passivity of victim-hood, requires taking responsibility for one's own desires and long-term actions.Pauline Young-Eisendrath, Women and Desire (London 2000) p. 201 and p. 30 See also * Abuse defense * Blame * Causality * Causation (law) * Cognitive distortion * Contributory negligence * Determinism * Emotional blackmail * Exaggeration * Hypochondriasis * Identified patient * Karpman drama triangle * Learned helplessness * Munchausen's syndrome * Necessity defense (New York) * Self blame * Victim blaming * Victim mentality * Victimisation * Victimology References External links *[http://www.booknotes.org/Watch/35197-1/Charles+Sykes.aspx Booknotes interview with Charles Sykes on A Nation of Victims: The Decay of the American Character, November 29, 1992] Category:Psychological abuse Category:Mind control Category:Social psychology Category:Deception Category:Diversionary tactics Category:Human behavior Category:Bullying Category:Abuse Category:Victimology Category:Psychopathy Category:Psychological manipulation